The Inner Battle at the Bedside

By Shannon Pierce

After 37 days in the hospital/rehab, my mom is finally home. This last month has taught me things that I didn’t know I needed to be taught. Mostly, that God is Good. All the time.

I am thankful when God blesses me. I am usually thankful when God brings me through a particularly trying time. With my mom getting sick, I was not thankful. I was angry. I was heartbroken. I was short-sighted and self-centered. I was anything but grateful.

My mom was, quite literally, on her death bed. While mom was lying in the hospital bed, fighting for her life and leaning on the everlasting arms of Jesus, I was busy being self-righteous and indignant. While Mom was softly humming hymns to herself, I was busy being angry at doctors and nurses. While Mom was rejoicing in being blessed with another day, I was busy being upset because my mom wasn’t getting the care she deserved.

Last week, while visiting her, I was complaining that the doctors weren’t taking care of her, how I couldn’t believe that they were treating her this way. My mom quietly looked up at me and said, “Shan, you know my life was never in their hands to begin with. It wasn’t the doctors, the nurses, or even the medication that saved my life. It was Jesus.”

Wow.

God’s goodness is not dependent upon my perception of a situation. God’s goodness does not revolve around my minuscule picture of what life is supposed to be. God’s goodness is not open to interpretation. It does not vary from day to day, hour to hour.

God. Is. Good. All. The. Time. Period.

Is there suffering? Yes. Are there trials? Yes.

But.

None of that changes the fact that God is good. All the time.

I am incredibly blessed to belong to a God who loves me in spite of myself. Who, even when I yell and scream, and curse his name, still looks on me with loving eyes.

I said before that I was upset that my mom wasn’t getting the care that she deserved. And the truth of the matter is, no, she wasn’t. She was being cared for far better than that. Maybe the doctors could have done some things differently, but, at the end of day, everything that happened, happened exactly the way it was supposed to. Jesus cared for her perfectly.